Hello, I’ve been reading this for a little while now. I just wanted to say that it has helped give me the strength to leave my ex-as-of-last-night fiance. He is very verbally abuse towards me, calling me fat and whatnot, even when I was pregnant. Oh, and he decided to tell me, a year and a half later after the incident(s?), while I was pregnant, that he cheated on me. I lost the baby and all, but I know that’s for the best.Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for helping to save me from what could have been a very miserable marriage!

Well, if the only I ever accomplish with this thing is to save one person from a life of hell, I am happy.

Now, I don’t know whether or not abusive women follow the same pattern as abusive men but the pattern that the men follow is very predictable and can be hard to resist. That is, if you have low self esteem. And somehow, they seem to know who the women with low self esteem are. If by some chance you DO have a shred of self esteem left, they will call you names and try to be sure that you will never feel as though you could do any better. A man who loves a woman tells her how wonderful she is, not how fat she is. PERIOD.

The initial behavior is very hard to resist. They tell you they love you before they could possibly even know you. They never end the first date, coming over every single day and calling when they don’t come over. A woman with low self esteem could have a hard time resisting that. That’s how it starts.

Next, they have somehow gotten you to stop seeing your friends. Usually, they tell you that your friends are “sluts” or some such crap and they would be happy if you would just stay home with them. A healthy relationship is like two circles that overlap. But, part of each circle should have its’ own space. So many women will stop seeing their friends when they meet a new man. It may seem so sweet in the early phase of a relationship but it is stupid. And that is because, sooner or later, you WILL want to go out with your friends. And then, you are in trouble. An abusive man will see this as a step backwards in a relationship and he will assume that you have a new man. Why else would you suddenly want to go out without him? You have let his circle overlap yours and you have left yourself no space at all.

I had a man get jealous of a book I couldn’t put down. An abusive man wants you to be totally under their control, and waiting at their beck and call. They can even seem so loving but if they wore a big “I ABUSE WOMEN” sign, they would never get a date. So, they know how to charm you, and quickly. And then you have forgotten about the guy you met two weeks ago and take off with the new one because the other one didn’t call you enough. Well, THAT was the normal man. He has a life and is taking care to keep it healthy and happy. Healthy relationships don’t usually start off like a ball of fire, they take time to nurture and grow. But they are infinitely more worth it. There is nothing like having a friendship that slowly develops over time into something really wonderful. Never feel like you have to jump on the one that seems to easy to grab hold of. There IS a reason he is so available!
What courage this lady has. I only hope that very soon, she will feel what I am feeling, the excitement of wondering what life has in store next. Personally, I can’t wait to find out!

Meg

HI!!!!!!

I am blasting music throughout the house and dancing like a fool. Thought I would catch my breathe and say hello. Today was boring. Oh, to the person who left that nice comment, I am not sure if this is considered a nasty divorce or not. I’ve been very sweet myself.

Oh, good song…gonna dance some more.

See ya soon,

Meg

By the way….

I forgot, I am going to audition for a role in a movie called Horror Hill tomorrow, LOL. I will probably be killed in the first scene. But..I WILL NOT wear a mask!

Meg

Solomon, my new friend and his new friend!

Posted by Hello

HI

I did the shoot yesterday. It is a movie called The Gospel with Boris Kudjoe and some other folk you all know. I found out that the movie I did last year, Warm Springs, will be out in April on HBO. I spent yesterday freezing my ass of at an abandoned mental hospital that they used as a location to shoot this movie. They also shot Dumber and Dumberer at this location. I was used as a technical advisor as well as an actor. As the technical advisor, I told them the nurse should wear a mask in one scene I set up. So, like and idiot, I masked myself in this movie. Once again, I am in the movie, but I covered up my own damn face. Oh well. I did make a new friend, he is in the picture with one of the actors from The Gospel. His name is Solomon and he is a great young guy who I am glad to call a friend. I didn’t know him 24 hours ago. Life is funny.

When I got home, I was flipping through the channels and came to the Comedy Channel. I almost went past it as Rick and I used to watch stand up all the time. I realized that I was avoiding all the things I used to enjoy because everything reminded me of Rick. Well, screw that, I am going to make new memories and continue on with my life. Unfortunately, the next thing I have planned for my life is a dentist appointment and I have to go and get ready to go there. I will be back to make you smile this afternoon.

Have a great day!

Meg

This is one of the guys I worked with yesterday, He was in Ray. Back soon!

Posted by Hello

Well, that was a big fat waste of my time.

I was so damn bored that I wanted to just spit. (I don’t know what that means, but it sounded good.) I went to two places and they were both dead. The bartender guy at one place was nice, but he works on tips so I don’t know how to take him. Then, a huge pimped out guy was being very attentive, but I don’t like the hours. It was stupid to go out on a Wednesday night and think there would be more than five people out at a sportsbar, esepcially when there really aren’t any good sports going on right now.

And you know what? I had my father’s car and I felt guilty just driving it TO a bar, much less driving home in it after drinking two beers. What is it about parents? I will be 50 years old in 4 years and I was worried that he would somehow find out. One night when he was staying here, I went to a friends house. This friend has a chronic illness and is bedbound. I sat with her one evening watching movies and came home at about 1 am. My father had locked me out of my own house! I had the keys but he put on the dead bolt on one door and the hook latch on the other. I got in, but I had to tippy-toe into my room just in case dad wanted to “talk”. MY HOUSE, MY AGE, and he still wants me in at a decent hour. Jeez.

Well, I am up early because I have to go do that shoot today. the lady called yesterday to ask if I had any nurses uniforms. Yeah, I do. So I am going to take a shower and BRUSH MY TEETH (all of them) and be on my way. When I get home, I will tell you all about what this shoot is, I still don’t know. Hope your day is going well, see ya later.

Meg

OK, OK, OK…


I am so pysched. I just had a great idea and I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner. I am going to go out and interview men (maybe women but only if there is a shortage of men.) I will have to get a pad and pen so it doesn’t look like I am just hitting on them (I can’t make this thing straighten out and I am sick of trying so if it is crooked, I am sorry. Oh, now it isn’t crooked, I give up),LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.and see what happens. (It just occurred to me that it IS possible that nothing will happen. Crap.) Oh well, a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.

I will tell you what happens when I get back.

Wish me luck.

Meg

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a Genie. The amazed woman asked if she actually got three wishes. The Genie said, “Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I’m a one-wish genie. So… what’ll it be?”
The woman did not hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring peace and harmony.

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I’m good but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable.”

The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man. You know — one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time and is faithful. That’s what I wish for… a good man.”

The genie let out a big sigh and replied, “Let me see the friggin’ map again…”

Thank you, Lori

Now I have a question…..

As I have said before, if you want advice about a man, ask another man. So…men, why is Rick STILL denying his affair? I know and he knows I know, why would he be denying it at this point? I must know.

Meg