The images taken by cameras today aren't quite the same as those taken a few years ago

If I hear one more yahoo say that innocent people shouldn’t care if the government overreaches into our lives, my head will explode like it was in a microwave and the rest of me will wither away like the Wicked Witch of the East. After writing about facial recognition and the fact that governments use it without our knowledge (You have no idea what’s in the cameras being pointed at you!), I heard from those who say things like, “As a non-criminal I don’t fear the technology.”

If law abiding citizens don’t care about civil rights, who should care? Hooligans, scofflaws and thugs? Does anyone really think that THEY will go out of their way to protect civil rights? I sort of doubt it.

If honest people don’t need rights and crooks don’t deserve them, what the heck are they there for? We are surrounded by cameras, the contents of which can be owned or subpoenaed by government at any time and for any reason. (Thanks to the Patriot Act.) I’m not sure when or where an American is off camera but I AM sure that next year at this time, we will be off camera much less than we are today.

Ten short years ago I was taken aback by all of the cameras that were pointed at me as I walked around Europe. Forever gone was the ability to walk the streets of Paris assured that not a soul on the planet could find me if they wanted to. Now I take those cameras for granted in my own country. They’re spreading like kudzu and disappearing into the scenery of our lives just as blatantly. We don’t even ask for the APPEARANCE of a respect for privacy. (Turn around and wave at the camera right now. I’m sure if you look, you can find one.)

Some will argue that the Constitution doesn’t grant Americans a right to privacy per se and they’re right. But privacy was a totally different notion back in the day when we had to take a horse to visit the next door neighbor. But since we can chat with our neighbor’s through the window of our indoor outhouse’s, things are a bit different today.

I’m not exactly sure what privacy rights are, but I’m pretty sure that most of us expect a bit of privacy in our lives whether we rob banks or run them. And although our Founding Fathers never actually mentioned privacy when writing the Constitution, our government gave women abortion rights based upon that nebulous right. If we can be granted such rights predicated on the sentiment of privacy, one wouldn’t be totally unreasonable to assume that we are entitled to a few based on the actual concept itself.

Ya think?

My dog just farted. Jeez, I hate that. I thought that all the nasty farting left with my ex. Oh well, at least I KNOW the dog doesn’t have enough sense to go into the restroom for such things.

There has always been a farting man in my life. When I was a little girl, my grandfather, a very successful businessman, would read the paper in his recliner at night and literally lift his leg and fart with no shame or “Excuse Me.”

Of course, when I got a little older, my brothers got a thrill out of farting. I left home and got married so I immediately had a farter of my own. Then, without missing a beat, I married again and had another farter. I swear to God, I had that one convinced that women just don’t fart.

Next, I was single for a few years but I was working as a nurse so I saw a lot of stuff much worse than farts. Then, I met the fartmaster. When my oldest son attained a certain age, he developed a facsination with farting that he pretty much still has. He laughs pretty hard at his own farts, but you can irritate the heck out of him by farting back at him.When he and my ex were both living with me, it was one great big fart-a-rama. A few years ago, I was in New York and I had this great beef sandwich with peppers…three kinds. I went into the restroom and noticed what a hideous bouquet that sandwich had summoned. I smiled. I began developing my stratagem.

It was so marvelously brilliant and the timing couldn’t have been better. They were both in the living room watching television. I went back into the living room and sat down as though all was right with the world.

Serenely secure in my evil scheme, I withheld the pressure that was my vengeance for the years of anguish to which I had been subjected by the fartmaster and his little partner in crime. I smiled cunningly as I remembered the silence that preceeded the appalling stench. I knew that there would be no forewarning for my victims. I waited until just the right moment and unleashed what was the most foul, repugnant, revolting “silent but deadly” that I had ever had the misfortune of suffering. And then I sat back and watched the consequences of my reprisal ensue. It was breathtaking…literally.

When the effects of my opus first reached their noses, they immediately glanced, accusedly, at each other. Then, they inhaled again. Oh, it was magnificent. I laughed so hard that I immediately gave myself away. They both actually got up off of their chairs. The looks on their faces were identical and said the same thing, “How can I leave the presence of this gruesome entity?” Their eyes went back and forth as though they were looking for an exit. You would have thought that they were a couple of mice in the presence of a lion.

Such a sense of contentment, I have never felt. I assure you, that one fart made up for the years of olfactory assaults that these two yahoos had released upon me.I have tried, in vain, to duplicate that awesome fart but I haven’t found the proper combination of gastric ingredients with which to do so.

OK, enough fart talk, the dog just farted again. I guess I asked for that one.

See ya,

Meg