Posted by: anniewilson | January 30, 2005

Rick is a selfish, lying cheat

There were many signs that my husband was cheating on me again but when he started brushing his teeth on a daily basis, I knew something was up. This bald man with no self esteem has never been able to tell a woman “No.” Having seen some of his mistresses, I can’t imagine what he would refuse.

It is amazing how many women would want a man that would cheat on his wife. But if Elvis impersonators can get laid, I guess a bald man with a twisted penis can get lucky. His penis is not only twisted, the head is smaller than the shaft. It looks kind of like a pencil with a worn out eraser.

They say that baldness is caused by increased levels of testosterone so I guess that explains this man’s voracious appetite for sex. I once found him masturbating to an adult movie on a channel that we didn’t get. He was getting off to the slanted, half silent, half moaning reception of some sex channel. Usually, I would find a man with such a sex drive appealing but I prefer quality over quantity. I once glanced at the alarm clock as I climbed into bed. It was 11:00. Rick then began to get “frisky”. Foreplay, the act itself, the climax and the first snore all by 11:08. I swear on my children’s life. I couldn’t believe it. He had never taken so much time in his life.

Now he is someone else’s problem. I can’t help but relish in the thought that one day, Rick will stop all this tooth-brushing and turn into his regular self for her. She will get to wonder how this man who used to brush his teeth can’t seem to keep a pair of underwear free of skid marks for 12 hours. I have spoken to other men about this and it even grosses them out. When you gross out another man, you are, well, gross.

I wish I could say he will challenge her with his mind but up until I pointed out his mistake, he was calling Pensacola “Pepsi-Cola” and Philadelphia “Philadelthia”. At first I thought he was a quiet, mysterious man. I slowly realized that he was just a moron who had nothing to say.

Perhaps she thinks she has latched on to a man who will pay her bills. She may think he has a good job and compared to other men who date trailer dwelling bimbos, I bet he does. But, this is the exact same job, title and position he had when I met him 23 years ago. I don’t see him becoming CEO anytime soon. He did start working out again for his mid-life crisis so I guess his body will be something. Except of course, for the misshapen penis thing.

The rest of this post is nothing for most people to worry about. the post is, for all intents and purposes, finished. What follows is a solution to a problem and not for anyone’s enjoyment.

Morning Oats, Cruel, Horseonovich, Meg Kelso, Sean Klitzner, Meg Kelso, Sean Klitzner, Morning Oats, Cruel, Horseonovich

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Horsie Master

The Morning Oats – A Bitter Cruel Substitute

Make a Donation to the Morning Oats!


If you would like a response, please email me. If you see any abuse of this truce please comment or email me. Thank you for your support. Posted by JQ75

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