Posted by: anniewilson | July 10, 2008

Someone’s been washing with MY loofah!

It’s an overcast day and for some reason that makes it seem like good housecleaning weather. I think I’ll clean the house today. It’s amazing how messy things can get even when you don’t leave crap lying around. I always clean up after myself but that doesn’t seem to matter to the dust. It wants to live on my stuff and that just can’t be.

Even the floors are assholes. You don’t have to track mud in on them. You don’t even have to leave the house. Somehow, just the act of living makes the floors dirty. Where the hell is all of this filth coming from? I didn’t put it there.

And no matter how much bleach I use and no matter how long I leave it in the toilet, something still grows in there if you wait long enough. I usually don’t because you start to see the stuff growing along the water line so it gets cleaned before it has a chance to grow too much. But what the heck IS that stuff and how does it get there? I put bleach in the tank, the commode and I even put those blue things in there so that I have blue water but shit stills grows in my toilet. (No pun intended.)

And sheets…how do THEY get dirty? If there’s a couple or a baby in the bed, I understand it. But how do MY sheets get dirty? I’m not going to bed full of mud. Why do I need to change them every weekend?

Oh hell, people even scrub themselves with special tools. I don’t understand that…I just use a wash cloth. I don’t have any scum on me that requires a special apparatus. What a stroke of marking genius those loofah things were! I wish that I could think of some totally unnecessary item that becomes a “must have” for every bathtub. There are a LOT of bathtubs around here and most of them have a loofah hanging off of the tub walls or the shower nozzle.

How can that POSSIBLY be a good thing? I use a clean wash cloth each time I shower. I wouldn’t think of using the same one twice yet entire families share their loofah’s with each other. That’s just too funky for me. I would be afraid that every person who showered might grab my loofah and my standards for allowing people to use my shower are lower than are certain other standards of mine. God knows who might end up needing to jump in my shower on any given day. Some friend of my son’s who tripped in mud could end up in there and I would never know if he touched my loofah or not. I wouldn’t want ANYONE touching my loofah. That’s just too much anxiety for me, I’ll stick with clean wash clothes.

You know, I should launch a crusade to put an end to loofah’s. I could single-handedly wipe out the entire loofah industry by asking why someone who wouldn’t let another person use their toothbrush would let them us their loofah.

I think loofah madness has seen it’s last day. In a land full of anti-microbial hand washing soap, dish washing soap and cleansers with bleach, why would we want to hang a loofah in our shower and use it more than once? Unless those suckers kill germs I don’t want one. You know, now that I think about it, even IF they could kill germs I wouldn’t want one. I don’t even want my own dead skin cells on me…I certainly wouldn’t want to rub someone else’s dead skin cells on myself.

You know, instead of saying that you got an STD off of a toilet, you could say that you got it from a loofah. I’m surprised someone hasn’t tried that yet.

So…is there anyone out there who sill wants to use a loofah?



  1. This is a very nice background! It’s beautiful. Loofah – now that’s too funny.


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