Posted by: anniewilson | July 16, 2008

Liars and losers

My sister called me for her daily ride to work before I got a chance to write anything. Now some dude is on the phone so I’m trying to be productive.

OK he’s gone. There are some people who I can talk to on the phone and continue typing because all they do is talk, talk, talk and I don’t get a word in anyway. Have you ever met someone who talks like this:

YOU: “Hi Sue, how’s the hubby?”

TALKTOOMUCH PERSON: “Oh, you know, I spoke to him 5 minutes ago. He called to let me know that his secretary (you know, the one who’s son married that Italian girl? Do you remember her? Well, her parents asked her if she was getting a divorce because of that black eye that she had. She said it was an accident and her husband, Jack, hasn’t ever hit her in the past that I’m aware of.) Anyway, Jack is the one who’s mom is the secretary. Well, she said that she thinks they need to fire the girl they hired to work on his taxes. He’s been letting his own taxes go and for a CPA, that’s pretty bad. So anyway, that made me think of when Rick screwed that girl at his job, I don’t know why…”

That goes on ad infinitum and I am able to get a lot of work done while those people speak. But the guy on the phone seemed normal and asked me questions so I had to pay attention to him.

I became involved in another talkative person’s attempt to scam an early exit from work. Yesterday she wanted to leave early so she asked me to call at 4:15 to report an emergency that only SHE could tend to. I’m not good at that stuff so I outsourced the creative work to my roommate who said, “Say that you rolled your foot again and you have to go to the ER.”

It worked, she got to leave early. But today she told me that she said that I need orthopedic surgery. That’s just too much. I’m a nurse and when people are dumb enough to lie to me about medical things, I can tell that they’re lying…or stupid. I don’t say anything because I don’t want to get into a battle of the wits with any unarmed nimrods.

There are 2 problems that I see. First, is that she lied at all. She’s been saying that her head hurts for days, that alone would have been a good enough reason for her to leave. Secondly, she elaborated unnecessarily. Now there’s too much to remember. I won’t be able to go back to her work for a long time because I would laugh as soon as someone asked me about my foot and the impending surgery. I have a tell when I lie…I crack up because it’s always so STUPID to be lying at all. If I did lie, I would try to keep it simple so that I don’t screw myself up later.

My heart isn’t in it, so I don’t bother. When people ask me something, I usually tell them the truth…even if it isn’t a good idea. I just don’t consider some things completely before I open my mouth. Rick was the opposite, he would lie before he thought about how many laws of physics his lies broke. And then he was all, “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”

So, now I’m involved in a complex, complicated lie that will probably be carried on for weeks, if not months. All so some chick could leave work early.

Oh well, at least she just had me having orthopedic surgery. She could have killed me off completely and taken a few days off for my funeral.

There is SOMETHING that I’d like to lie about. I’d like to tell you that I won my match last night but I didn’t. Not only did I lose, I got skunked. It was a race to 2 games for me and 5 for the other guy. I didn’t get many chances to shoot at all because that guy was running the table on me from the break to the 8 ball. I sat there with my stick in my hand, waiting for a chance to shoot but I got few opportunities. He took me in 5 games and that’s never happened before.

I don’t mind losing, I’ve lost before. But this guy was smacking the balls so hard that I just assumed he would screw up. Good pool players very rarely have to smack the ball like he was doing. I might do it once every 5 games or so but other than that, I just make the english work for me. Enough top english will send the cue ball rolling wherever you want it to roll.

Anyway, his ball smacking behavior worked for him. And he was lucky. And, on top of all of that, I sucked. I didn’t have enough chances to shoot the ball so I never got into my game. Like I said, this rarely happens. Oh well, there’s always next week.

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