Posted by: anniewilson | October 31, 2008

Dicks: broken, malformed or just hanging out

It’s early again only this time I did it myself. I set my alarm clock because I have a client to see late this morning and I wanted to be sure to wake up early enough to come and visit you guys. It’s not as though I had anything in particular to say, I just wanted to pop in since I was gone while I was in the hospital.
Actually, I rarely come to my desk with an idea…I just read the news, my email and any comments left on one of my blogs. Today I had one left on an old post. It’s a penis post that I wrote over 3 years ago:

This is the comment that I received this morning:

While any problem in the critical area of a male erection is very upsetting to a man, nothing generates as much concern, anxiety, shame, and even terror as the inability to get or maintain an erection. Only the loss of his job can make a man feel less of a man.

It was signed Gabrielle which could be either a man or a woman. The ending makes me think it’s a woman although that isn’t necessarily true. I felt the need to respond to Gabby and that’s why I’m here. The only problem is that my retort would be different depending on the gender of the author of that comment.

If it were a man, I would say, “OK, I will bow to your balls and assume you’re right.” Then I would think really hard to see if I could come up with a way to see his pecker. I would really want to know what would prompt a man to discuss penis problems of any sort. I would bet money that there would be either a malformed penis or a normal looking penis that doesn’t work anymore than a burned out light bulb. Either way, it would be good for a giggle.

Now, if the author of the comment were a woman, I would have to say, “And…?”

Of course the inability to hump a female for 4 minutes is upsetting to a man. Whether the penis is injured, congenitally freaky or full of mutant-like quantities of hair, a guy doesn’t want words like “premature” and “retarded” preceeding his ejaculations. That’s a given.

Then, I would say to the guys, THIS is what makes you feel like a man? The ability to spit at a cervix from your willie?

You know, mankind has far too many problems to worry about whether or not a guy can get it on. And then to equate THAT with manhood is simply insane.

When I first read that comment, I thought, “Penis problems are SECOND to the job? I doubt it.” But now I hope it is. That job thing is pretty important. Getting up every single day to go to work with no end in sight is a task that a man does. So, now I’d like to know what women think. If there are any women out there who searched for pussy or sex and landed here, could you take a few seconds and answer this poll question? Thanks.

I think that all adults realize how important sex is to most of us. It’s something that we all have in common. The things we have in common are the things that we can laugh at. 98.2% of the time, everything I write is just to be silly. I choose subjects like weenies because blogging lends itself to humor that you won’t usually hear because I can write about them from the privacy of my desk. There’s a anonymity that allows me to push it a bit. So, I do. It’s fun for me. In person I’m quite the lady. Ordinarily I wouldn’t say dick if I had a mouthful.

But back to the The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger, I hope that men with problems don’t worry too much. It may take time but they’ll deal with it. Those pesky little things between your legs don’t bother us too much. And when they’re broken, they don’t bother us at all so think twice before fixing them.


By the way, what kind of penis would bring about “terror”? I HAVE to know.

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