Posted by: anniewilson | November 2, 2008

Murder Confession Part 3

When he was done reading me my rights, he shut the door and walked away. Heinrich never noticed my hands folded neatly in my lap with the handcuff lying off to the side of my leg. I laughed out loud and I was just about to SAY what I was thinking when it occurred to me that there could be a camera or something recording me. So to myself I thought, “That is one dumb detective.” I hoped that the rest of them were as stupid as this guy was although I pretty much doubted that they would be.

On the way to the jail, I reached up my pants leg to get a couple of pain pills and a Xanax. I was actually able to swallow them dry but I had a horrible burning down my throat. I couldn’t wait to get to jail because I was in serious need of a swig of water.As we turned into the jail parking lot, I noticed the minor media frenzy that seemed to be taking place.

I asked the cop if “that was all for me” and he answered me, “Yep. It’s ALLLLLL for you.” Then I told him that I was scared and that I needed some cold water.

I couldn’t just ask him for cold water, when you want something from a man you have to admit to some sort of weakness or vulnerability. I chose to use “fear” as my weakness. It seemed to fit the situation well.

He said that he would get me a drink and then he pulled up to the “drop off” area. With the car still running, he got out and walked around to a door that seemed to lead to the guy behind the window to my right. He came right out with a paper cup full of water. He opened the door and immediately went to unlock the cuffs. By the time he absorbed what he was seeing, I had the cup in my hand. I poured it down my throat in one long gulp and then I crushed the cup and aimed for the trash can off to the side. I made the shot.”2 points”, I said out loud to no one in particular.

“What happened here?” asked the big burly bald cop dressed in a black uniform.”I slipped it off of my left hand. It’s OK, I’ll put it back on.” So, I did. I grabbed the other ring of the handcuffs and then I slipped it back on. Next I asked, “OK, now what?” He shook his head and lead me through some doors that were operated by someone other than the people walking in.

I glanced at his chest and saw his name…K. O’Brien. We stopped long enough for Officer O’Brien to sign some paperwork and chat with some lady who seemed to be in some form of authority. I thought that seeing an Irish cop was a good sign.

I think that’s the moment that it all sunk in. I thought to myself, “This is jail, it doesn’t get any worse than this and I can handle this.” At the time I didn’t notice it but that’s the first time I became insanely happy with the way I was handling everything. This was cool, it was all good. I was so happy that the happiness seemed to give me an energy that I hadn’t possessed since childhood. That feeling was another good sign. What a drastic change from years of fear!

I used to pray, “God, please just make it stop hurting, that’s all, make the bed stuff stop.” I never dared pray for the happiness that I felt as I was lead into a holding cell with an orange jumpsuit lying on a cement bench. The authority lady watched me as I changed into the jumpsuit. She was chatting with some lady behind bulletproof glass. She would really have had to be paying attention to her job to have noticed the tape on either side of my legs. I had prepared myself quite well.

When I walked out, she asked me to show her the bottom of my feet. Whatever.

She directed me to another room exactly like the one I had changed clothes in. I walked in, sat on the cement bench and then I stretched out. The pills that I took in the police car were definitely kicking in.I didn’t get to fall asleep because I still had to be “booked”. They had to fingerprint me and take my picture and do whatever they have to do. I got a bracelet sort of like a hospital bracelet only it had a picture of me on it.

The guy who “processed” me couldn’t have been 5′ 5″ tall. I towered over him. But, like most cops down in these here parts, he pumped iron to give his short self some huge muscles. I still felt as though I could hold his forehead out with my palm while he swung at me and he would never land a punch. He was just so tiny. I don’t know if it went with his small stature or if he sense my confidence, but he behaved like anything but an alpha male. He was almost submissive. Poor little guy.

When the little guy was done with me, I sat there, chained to a metal bench. I was sitting there when Mike walked in.Without thinking I shouted, “Hi Mike! I thought you’d never get here!”

We got a few strange looks. Mike walked straight to the lady behind the bulletproof glass who seemed to tell him something but I couldn’t hear what it was. When he came back, he looked at me and apologized as he led me back to the room with the cement bench. That was the third good thing in a row. I sure the HELL did the right thing!”

Why would you apologize? I’m fine! I wish SOMEONE would believe me.”

“How can you be so fine?” he asked me with a truly puzzled look on his face. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “Because I’m innocent. Duh.”

I couldn’t read his reaction but I didn’t really care. As I was going back to my cement bench, I noticed a telephone that I hadn’t noticed before. I asked if I could use that. It turned out that the phone in that room was the last free phone that I would have access to for a while.

I assured Mike that I was fine and eventually he left. I walked over to the phone and called my father. I got his machine so I left a message on it asking him if he had found an attorney yet. In the meantime it didn’t really matter, I wasn’t going to speak to anyone with or without an attorney.

I couldn’t think of anyone else to call right then. I wanted to call my kids but I also wanted them to have a little bit of time to let things sink in. And, I was so tired. I stretched out on the cement bench again.

That time I did fall asleep. And when I woke up, I wished I hadn’t. There were 4 more women in that holding cell and not one of them spoke English. I had no idea why they were there but I could see that one of them was seriously drunk or high on something, I couldn’t tell. They were all pretty freaky looking and they just never, EVER shut up!

Luckily, some deputy chick came and got me before I had to take another pill. She took me to “population”. I was official.The cells were actually dormitory style. They were all in a circle and the circle had pie shaped wedges cut out for each pod. There were about 50 people in each pod. There was a guard in the middle of the circle who controlled the doors. I walked in ahead of the deputy chick and another deputy chick opened a “pod” door for me. I said goodbye to one lady and hello to the other. Then, I walked in and found myself a cot closest to the guards. There as no special reason, it was just the first empty cot that I came to and I wanted to go back to sleep.

I heard my name called from behind me so I turned around. There was a guard passing linens through the door to me. A woman who looked like Anna Nicole Smith walked up and took the linens. I didn’t know what to think of that. Was she going to steal my linens with a guard right there?

Nope. She walked toward me and said, “C’mon, let’s go get your house ready.”I stood by and watch as 3 other prisoners made my cot up for me. It didn’t take long before I realized why…I had become quite famous over the past couple of days and I was so preoccupied that I never really noticed the extent of my infamy.

Anna Nicole asked me a few questions but it was obvious that my answers were the same for everyone, I didn’t do a thing. I was out in the yard gardening and when I went back into the house, the asshole was blue. At this point I could call him an asshole, remember, I just found out about his affair.

Anyway, I decided to take control of the conversation. I asked Anna a bit about herself. She explained that she was awaiting trial for armed robbery and aggravated assault upon a police officer. The person she armed robbed was a guy who she had met one night and they ended up doing drugs together. They did all of her drugs because he promised to go to his ATM and get more cash for drugs when they ran out. Well, he lied. They were in his car and when she realized that he was “dicking her around” about the cash, she pulled out a knife and held it to his neck. Somehow, the cops ended up behind her and they jumped out of the car and took off in different directions. She thought that she had put the car in park but she had actually left it in gear. The cops took off chasing them and the car she was driving moved backwards and hit the squad car. That was the aggravated assault upon a police officer. At least that’s what she told me.

It was either talk about myself or ask the others to talk about themselves. I chose the latter. So, for the rest of the evening, I heard more stories than I can remember now.

Dinner was awful. The food was so disgusting that I couldn’t tell you what most of it was. It was some sort of meat by-product covered with some sort of congealed gel substance. There was also a salad but it was wilted from the heat of the “meal”. The only thing we had to drink was a small carton of some sort of fruit-aid stuff.

Finally the guards called lights out and I was able to lie down and enjoy some peace and quiet. The cot wasn’t comfortable at all and my back started to hurt so on one of my trips over to the rather public toilets, I reach down and grabbed another pain pill. That helped and I was able to sleep although in the morning I woke up with a dreadful backache.

After another trip to the bathroom, two more pain pills and a sedative, I sat down to eat breakfast. I looked down at a tray with a HUGE pile of cereal in it and one pint of milk. There was also some sort of sweet bread. At breakfast you also got your lunch, a bag full of of bread and something that resembled bologna.

The only thing that I wanted was the “blue pack”. The blue packs were like gold. They were instant coffee and it was at the top of every trade that was made at mealtimes. I drank by funky blue pack coffee just in time to be called out of the pod. Apparently, “someone” wanted to speak to me. No one knew any more than that.

Outside the pod area there was a room that had stairs in it leading up to visitor windows. I started walking up the stairs when I saw that it was Detective Heinrich. I started to go back down stairs but there as a guard behind me that didn’t seem to like that idea. I walked up the stairs and sat across from Heinrich.

“How are you doing in there?” he asked as if I was a terrified shrinking violet type. I just looked at him.”Things went a bit crazy there, didn’t they?”

Was that a question? I had no clue.

He started using therapeutic conversational techniques that I learned in college psychology class. Every so often you hear a cop say something to the effect of, “He thought that he could outsmart us but he didn’t know what he was up against.” Well, I know damn well I can outsmart the cops if they keep sending me this sort of moron.

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