Posted by: anniewilson | November 2, 2008

My new boob warmer

I decided to start with something totally unrelated to my post today. I keep hearing candidates use the phrase “win the war”. I have one question, how will we know when we’ve won? What does “winning the war” look like? How will we know when it happens? That’s it. I’m just curious.

OK then.

I have to spend a lot of my day adding to my murder confession so there will be more of that before the day is over. I love being able to just come here and write all that stuff and no one cares enough to send the cops. My friends who know the truth can’t believe that I’m doing it but what the hell.

I have some good news. I have a new best friend to keep me warm at night. I spend the entire night hugging and wrapping myself up in my pal. Right this moment my buddy is all over my chest, keeping my nipples soft and warm. I hate it when my nipples get hard from being cold.

Sometimes when I get undressed my boobs are cold. Isn’t that odd? You know how your feet or hands can get cold? Well, my boobs do too. Not really hideously cold, but cold enough to feel when I put my hands over my boobs. I don’t know why I had my hands over my boobs. But, now I check for cold tits when I take my bra off. You would think that the bra would keep those suckers warm but apparently, you’d be wrong.

I wish they’d make special bra’s that had little cup pockets that you could slip little titty warmers into. Wouldn’t that be neat?

Actually, I don’t have to do that now because of my best buddy who is now all over my lower belly and upper legs and everything in between. My best buddy is a heating pad and I’ve been going steadily with it for days now. I carry it around all day, pulling the plug out of one socket and sticking it in another. And then, at the end of the day, I plug it into the socket at the head of my bed and snuggle up to it nice and close.

There is one problem with my pal…the cats like it too. At night they’re all over me trying to find the warm thing that they know is in there with me somewhere. They wait until I go to sleep or until they think I’m asleep.

The other night I couldn’t fall asleep to save my life. Usually, I watch TV until I drift off. But after a while of not drifting off, I’ll curl up and close my eyes hoping that if I act like I’m sleeping, I might really fall asleep. While I was lying there trying to fall asleep, I got a rare glimpse into life in my house after I’ve fallen asleep.

My dog is always on my bed when I fall asleep and he’s always there when I wake up but sometime in between…as soon as he thinks I’m asleep…he gets up and walks around the house. He might lie in the hall for a few minutes or just stare out the living room window. Sooner or later he gets back in bed. The other night after he climbed off the bed and was heading out the door, I said, “Payton?” I didn’t say it loud, just normal level. That dog jumped back in bed and curled up like he was a toddler caught stealing a cookie.

I never did fall asleep that night but I stayed curled up with my eyes closed hoping that I would. The animals had no way to know that I wasn’t really asleep. The cats are on the bed when I fall asleep too, usually on the side of me opposite the dog at the foot of the bed. But when they think I’m sleeping, they come up to my head and lick it. I’ve caught one of them doing it before…but I didn’t know the other cat was doing it too. They want to lick skin but I’m too covered up for that. After a while of head licking, they curl up on the pillows around my head.

Of course now they also try to get to the warm thing. If they can find it, they’ll lie on the blankets above it and sooner or later it’ll get warm.

Then, sometime around 6 AM, they all get sick of night. It could be any one of those 3. They seem to take turns. I guess once one starts to wake me up, the others just let him. Payton will nudge me with his head and whine softly. The cats have their own methods. They start out by meowing at the side of the bed and if that doesn’t work, they jump up on the bed and meow in my ear.

I wish I had thought of getting a dog instead of getting married. My dog is such a good friend and he’s much more loyal than Rick ever was. I like the cats too but I only have them to keep the house free of mice and men.

Well, that reminds me of the murder and that means I have to go work on my confession. Be back soon with that!

See ya!

: )

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