Posted by: anniewilson | December 2, 2008

Open Letter to All Mistresses of My Ex

So, you think you found a keeper? What makes you think that you are any different than any of the other bimbos that he has had? If you received a rose on or about my anniversary (September 2nd), it was the 12th of the bunch he gave me. I was only given 11. Now, if it had been our 11th anniversary, that might have made sense. But it was our 16th. By the way, a few other things are missing, did he wrap them up and give them to you? If you have any of my stuff, I would appreciate it if you sent them back. I had a porcelain teddy bear mama who was holding her baby bear at a drinking fountain…do you have that now? Any of you?

Now, I am sure that Rick told you all kinds of hideous things about me. He must think you are pretty stupid, and you most likely are if you fell for the, “My wife doesn’t understand me” crap. I don’t know what line he used on you but haven’t you ever watched Oprah? Don’t you know that ALL men who cheat justify the cheating by slandering their wives? DUH!!!!!!!!

Did he tell you that we NEVER made love or that I was no good in the sack? He made love to me the night before he left…September 9th was the last time we made love, or whatever you call it when a husband uses his wife as a toilet for his sperm. He never stopped the bedtime activities. And he told me that I was too “tight” for a man and that I would never find another one because men don’t like women who are so tight that the man can’t do “it” for more than 3 minutes without “finishing”. But I know he was only trying to make me too self conscious to even try to sleep with another man AND that he was making an excuse for his speedy “completion”.

Did he tell you that you were the ONLY woman he ever cheated with?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Talk to Noreen, Robin, Whitney, Jamie, Gail and the one he is supposedly NOT living with. He had 3 women last year alone, that I found out about anyway.

Do you think that because he left me that he is serious about you? He has left twice in the past for other women and I admit to being a fool for taking him back but I won’t be taking him back this time.

Now, let me tell you what he told ME! He told me that you were just some nutcase that wouldn’t leave him alone. He told me he loved me every single day and he even said so the day he left. He said he didn’t want a divorce, just a break from our marriage and that if I waited patiently for one or two years, he would be back and all would be well. His M.O. is to cheat when I am too ill to notice the signs. But, as I said, when he started brushing his teeth on a daily basis, even my illness couldn’t keep me from picking up on that sign. No matter what the problem, a real MAN, or even a real WOMAN, wouldn’t leave when the other spouse is too ill to take care of themselves. A coward, on the other hand, would do just that.

Has he started his speed sex with you? Are you so “tight” that he can’t last 3 minutes? Or does he just tell you that you are soooooo good that he can’t last any longer? The sex lotion I found stuffed in the back of a drawer might have some numbing effect and therefore he might have been able to go for 4 minutes, and I certainly appreciate the occasional “quickie”, but not when it is the only item on the menu. That reminds me, to the one who was in MY bed last June….send a list of everything you touched so that I can get rid of it all. The bed is already gone, I didn’t want to wait for your parasites to grow up and turn into visible critters.

To the one who called and said, “If you knew how to treat a man, you’d still have your husband!”, you must be an avid Jerry Springer fan. To the one who called to tell me she was having Rick’s baby, have you seen his kids? He blamed it on his ex-wife but I have met his mother. You should always get an idea of what type of DNA you are propagating. To the one who called me to apologize and to tell me that Rick gave her genital herpes, better you than me. To the one who gave him the herpes…BRAVO! But next time, use a condom during an outbreak so that you stop spreading it around.

Not that you deserve it, but here is a warning, Rick will not admit to anything that isn’t on tape so when you find all the signs, trust your instincts… I have been astonished at his ability to appear sincere yet lie like a rug.

So, basically, I just want my stuff back, not Rick. You can keep him. And…you have my permission to save this letter to give to the one he cheats on you with.

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Responses

  1. I love this.

  2. BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO!!!!!!!

    You are FANTASTIC!!!! Thanks for making my day!

    You’re not alone, girl! There are lots of foolish wives out there, but there are a whole lot more mistresses who are ten times as foolish!

    http://bandnerdtx.wordpress.com

  3. Whoa! This is some serious shit!! I am intimidated by this because I cheated on my 1st wife (obviously I got divorced) with only 1 woman and I felt like crap about it.

    But THIS dude! The audacity to keep doing it over and over? And what’s this line of shit he gave you about “needing a break from the marriage for a year or two?!?! What the hell?

    And you were sick during this? What a complete waste of white this turd of a human being is!! I am a firm believer in karma. I have actually seen it in action, and believe me, HE WILL GET HIS!!! He doesn’t know it yet, but because karma does exist, he is fucked!!!

  4. He certainly was a peach. My faith in karma is the only reason that I’m not in prison now. They had given me a 50/50 chance the survive the year, you’d have thought he could have waited for me to croak for a few months anyway! 2 days after my surgery to remove the tumor he told me that he didn’t love me anymore and the next day he was arrested for domestic violence. I didn’t know that my incision started bleeding while I was trying to get away so when the cops got there, they thought he had slashed my neck. The good part about that was when they thought that, they body slammed him into the driveway. There’s a silver lining in EVERY cloud.

    But I’m STILL here and waiting for karma to kick in!

    :):):)


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