Posted by: anniewilson | January 23, 2009

NSA Approves Obama’s New Toy

President Obama may have a new toy to replace his beloved Blackberry…Blueberry (whatever). Reports are surfacing that the spies in charge are ready to OK a device that does the work of Obama’s old toy, only more securely.

Now, keep in mind that I do not own a cell phone, I’ve only played with an iPod once and that cured me of ever doing it again. Also, I didn’t have a microwave until the 90’s. I resist change. Well, not all change, I can rejoice in our nation’s first Black president, but I don’t like major change that affects me personally.

Things didn’t change too much when I was a kid. About the only changes that I remember are color TV and push button phones. That’s about it. But those changes didn’t require an inservice. Everyone knew how to operate a TV and a phone…they were just different.

The changes to the phone itself have me totally baffled. Why would anyone want to attach a phone to themselves? Even if you softly whisper, “Tell them I’m not home!”, the caller will hear you. I go to a lot of effort to avoid talking on the phone. If someone should get me on the phone, I spend the entire time trying to hang up politely. Of course, you know me, I’ll give up and be rude if I have to. Some more recent hang up lines that I’ve used:

“I hate talking to people I know…and I don’t even know you.” Click.

If someone fumbles with my name I say, “If you don’t know my name then I KNOW I don’t want to talk to you.” Click.

“You know what? I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out a polite way to get you off of the phone but that rude-ass comment let me off the hook.” Click.

One of my favorites, “Ass sphincter is holding a dead phone up to his ear.” Click.
I sure as hell don’t want to take that show on the road. My kids keep bugging me to get a cell phone…they promise to stop calling the Marietta police from Los Angeles and sending them to my house whenever my phone is off the hook if I let them send me a cell phone. Apparently, I “don’t even have to use it” except for when my daughter calls me. All I’d have to do is keep it on me at all times.

 

Get a grip. I lose my portable phone and it never leaves the house. There is no reason on God’s green earth that I need to carry a phone out into the world. I can search the house, I can’t search the world.

Some changes have been good…I like Caller ID. But other than that, I prefer the phones of old.

I remember when change went from practical to senseless. If memory serves, it all started when they replaced words with pictures on cars. Instead of the word “Lighter”, there was a picture of a flame on the car lighters. Heat, Medium and Cold were controls, not red lines, double red/blue lines and blue lines.

Shortly after that, the Boston Fireman’s hat became the international symbol for “Fire Alarm” in elevators. What if you’ve never been to Boston? How would you know that the picture wasn’t the button to drop hats from the top of the elevator? Hell, for all I know, that’s what it IS for, I’ve never pushed it myself.

Of course, they followed that up by arbitrarily posting Braille messages about cities, airports and other public buildings. That’s actually pretty cold if you ask me. Those messages are sort of the “Where’s Waldo?” of the life saving world. If they made the messages play a Stevie Wonder song, I would understand it. But how on earth are blind people supposed to find their way out of a 17th floor hotel room in the event of a fire?

You know, I think that buttons are on their way out. Buttons, typewriter keys, television controls…all the things that were once controlled by buttons will soon be replaced with touch screens and voice recognition programs. That’s cool because I am one of those people who absolutely CANNOT throw a button away. So, I have buttons from way back. Maybe my button collection will be worth something someday. I think I’ll leave it to my granddaughter.

Ah, my coffee is good. I made it in my 50 year old percolator. If you haven’t seen it, this is a lesson in the history of coffee:

youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS778KkrjjE]

That is some good coffee!

Here’s hoping that you are making the best of today that you can. Carpe Diem!

PS After taking another sip, this is some DANG good coffee! If I don’t have a stroke first, I’ll be making another pot of this delicious brew.

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Responses

  1. I used to have a TV “remote control” that was a rubber bulb hooking to a tube that somehow changed channels with air power. This is way back in time, but it’s interesting to consider in light of today’s technology.


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