Posted by: anniewilson | January 29, 2009

Poontang mints…without Retsyn

I actually have a date for today. I’m still in my jammies, I need to take a shower and that dude will be here in 45 minutes. But you…my blog buddies…deserve at least a quick hello. Although this guy seems really interested, these things usually don’t work out and after he’s gone, you guys will still be here so, I came here first.

Yesterday I was folding laundry with the TV on and I couldn’t zap the commercials easily. I rarely, extremely rarely, watch commercials. I cannot abide them. When you’re a bitch like I am, you tend to get irritated by stupid stuff and 99.999 % of them are really, really stupid.

I’ve been around long enough to have seen marketing for feminine hygiene products that are totally unnecessary. Like a douche for instance. That’s not at all good for women but a bunch of them do it all the time. Douching is really a medical thing like enemas…you should only do it if your doctor tells you to. But women everywhere “don’t feel clean without a douche”. Well, that’s what the force does to weak minds.

They have special soap for douching and other such needless stuff. A good shower is all any of us need. They have products that have the same pH as vagina. Well, before the chick douched, she HAD a perfect pH in her vagina. Such silliness. I believe I’ve seen deodorant specifically made for South of the border. What the hell is going on that these women need douches, sprays and now the “after cleansing/sex/shower/itchy crotch syndrome mint”? That’s a helluva lot of stuff and if that’s the solution, I don’t want to SEE the problem.

Douches are today’s Pet Rock.

Anyway, the commercial I heard was for ANOTHER poontang maintenance thing…I think it was called Re-pHresh. I forget…but it was a product you used to make you feel clean after a night of unexpected sex if you don’t have time for a douche. You just stick one of those suckers up there and let it dissolve just as you would a Certs with Retsyn. It’s a poontang mint is what it is.

Oh, I give up. There are going to be women who think that shoving mints up their vagina is a good thing and nothing I can say will stop them. THOSE are the chicks who douche now and swear by it. Someone, sometime, will tell me that it’s not only OK, but necessary. Uh uh. Don’t bother…I have a college degree in such matters.

How about this for an idea, a wash cloth and a bar of soap!!! You know, that’s just nutty enough to work.

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Responses

  1. See? I agree with this. Keep it simple. I mean look at how much havoc I can cause with a knife and a couple of sticks of dynamite. Nothing fancy. I am with you on this one…keep it simple

  2. Exactly. Like you wouldn’t have a motherboard involved in your plots, I wouldn’t add another product to the mix. I powder, lotion, deodorize pits and soften feet. That’s all that I’m worried about anyway.

    Ah, the beauty is in the simplicity of at all.

  3. Annie – you just made a womans hoo-hoo seem like the most unappealing place in the world a man would ever want to visit.

    Although, to be fair, you do the same thing for men when you talk about skid marks and such.

    You should teach sex ed in school. The teenage birth rates would plummet.

  4. LOLOLOL, oh yeah, I’d scare the HELL outta those munchkins!

    And yes, I am an equal opportunity slammer. But, I’m not the one suggesting that women need all these products for keeping themselves “clean”!


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