Posted by: anniewilson | February 26, 2009

Wanted: Men with skills and/or disposable income

I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t really had any time to clean my house so it’s pretty much a disaster area and I’ll be having a guy over today to do some work around here. My dog jumped up on one of my windows and busted it all to pieces. I can’t blame him TOO much…it cracked years ago and my nit wit ex taped up the cracks. He’s a whiz…isn’t he? That’s the kind of fix that I would do, like when I fixed a brake fluid leak in a Kia with a coat hangar and folded pieces of newspaper. It worked, I didn’t have to use a bottle of brake fluid every time I drove to the grocery store.

But the guy who’s coming over today is going to take me to get the glass and, apparently, putty. I don’t know what the heck he wants putty for but I’m sure he has it all under control.

You know what this means, don’t you? It means that I can’t sleep with him at all. If I did, he would stop work immediately and as I’ve said, I have a long list of chores to be done around the house and out in the yard. Sometimes I just thank my lucky stars for my fuckbuddy…if it weren’t for him, these past 4 years would have been rather frustrating.

Now that I think of it, I think that I should give him a call. It’s been a while since we’ve relieved each other’s frustrations.

I need a few more men to round out my staff and I think I shall actively pursue them. (Don’t worry…no more Craigslist Dudes.) I promise to be pickier with my new men. I will keep them all compartmentalized in my life and pray that I have no “Maalox Moments” where one might run into another.

Redneck Update: For those who were wondering, I have NOT heard from Craigslist Dude but while I was gone the other day, he came into my house and took back all of his stuff…even the stuffed tiger that he had given me. All he had over here were a view DVD’s and the few things that he had given me. Well, he wiped out every sign of himself. I considered calling the cops but I usually go to great lengths to keep them away from my house. I hate having a squad car in my driveway…it NEVER looks good. If I find out that he took anything of mine, I might change my mind.

Well, I suppose it’s time to clean the house so that Mr. Fix-it Dude will be comfortable. If I feed him well he’ll be more likely to come back and do some work out in the yard. Now all I have to do is decide whether to make a list or just let him find the problems himself. I haven’t quite figured this one out but that’s OK…I usually do better ad libbing my manipulative tactics anyway.

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Responses

  1. Well, I think you’re lucky…the retrieval of items appears to be the actions of a petulant spurned lover, not what might be done by some serial killer.

    Tom

  2. Yeah but it’s still freaky to think that he was in my house!

  3. Men help more after they watch someone fixing something improperly…kind of like a Huck Finn thing.
    Tom

  4. Oh, I know that! I get my oil changed by trying to pour it in the dipstick hole.

    : )

  5. You mean that’s not how to put the oil in. Oh shit!

  6. Nope. I used to do it that way until someone showed me the big hole. Now I spill much less and it’s a much quicker process.

    And to change a tire, I stand at the open trunk, facing the oncoming traffic, holding two parts of a jack and looking confused. It works EVERY time.

    See? This is why I love men! No chick ever stopped to change my tire!

  7. I don’t even attempt to help a stranded woman at night. They get crazy scared(I don’t blame them). I just hope they have a cell phone, or if it’s a really bad area I may call the police and tell them there’s a stranded motorist. Then of course the cops think you’re a psycho killer and blah, blah, blah.

  8. I’ve been lucky, I break down during the day. I can handle myself and I”m not afraid…except for last Saturday night.


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