Posted by: anniewilson | April 2, 2009

Dating Rules for the New Millenium Part 1

I’ve looked and looked and I can’t seem to find my old set of rules for dating. But I remember most of them, especially the rules I broke when I dated my most recent husband.

I created these rules when I was in my mid to late twenties, after a good bit of dating experience, but only with younger men. Now that I find myself divorced and surrounded by men my own age, I really, really need to update those suckers.

First of all, “Never date a guy who doesn’t have his own place.” I had good reason for that rule but I didn’t think to add, “…but hovels don’t count.”

Also, not to be greedy, but just to weed out greedy guys, I had this rule, “Never date a guy who makes less than I do.” The problem with that is that I don’t know any CEO’s and I haven’t been out with an attorney in months. This one I think I may loosen a bit. I don’t care what the guy makes as long as he doesn’t take a dime from me. There. I’ve said it.

Next was the rule about cars. “Never date a guy with an old car unless it’s a renovated 62 Corvette.” Now I think I’ll just say this…”Only date guys whose car seats warm your butt in the winter.”

Of course there was the, “Don’t date a guy who’s been in a major relationship or marriage within the past year.”, rule. Once again, I had very good reasoning behind my rules but now that I’m older, I think I can only make them better. So, now I WILL date a guy recently out of a relationship but only if he looks malleable and worth manipulating.

I still think my rule about drinking is a good one, “Never make decisions regarding sex after you’ve taken the first sip of booze.” If you decide to drink before sex, that’s one thing. But if you start drinking at the bar and some good looking cowboy type saunters in and sweeps your heart away, DON’T DO IT!!! It can lead to confusion at best and heartbreak at worst.

I have a few new rules as well, things I never would have thought of when I was younger. I was quite the innocent little thing and never thought to add, “Avoid ex-cons.” to my list. Also, “Run quickly from men who have little metal plaques engraved with their name on the bar in front of his favorite bar stool.” Oh…and more important than all of them so far…and I’m ever so serious…” Assume that every compliment a guy gives you is an attempt to get in your pants.” You’ll be right more often than not and it will tend to prevent accidental one night stands.

I have a few more things to consider and when I do, I’ll let you know. I’ll even put all of the new rules down in one place so that you can print them out. Of course, your experience may have taught you to be on the lookout for some type of man who I have yet to come across. That’s OK.

It’s just that I’m going to treat flirting like a research project this year. I’m going to specifically target men who don’t break my rules and see what happens. Even if I don’t find a keeper, imagine all the fun I’ll have flirting!

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Responses

  1. ha ha. You made me smile!

  2. Funny stuff. But: don’t sell yourself short; you should be dating lawyers and CEO’s!

    Might want to drop the seat warmer requirement. I never cared for them and I live in the Midwest.

    Every compliment is a ruse to get into your pants? Personally that changes with age, I compliment women now and I am not trying to get into their pants. Just don’t have the energy or drive I once had. One of the women in my office just changed her hair style in dramatic fashion. Aside from the fact that I am married; I am not attracted to her, I did compliment her hair; mostly because I realized she was a bit insecure about the new style.

    Love your rules; you should write a book; can I get in your pants?

  3. Aside from the fact that your married…see? That’s what I’m running into!


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