Posted by: anniewilson | April 3, 2009

Dating Rules for the New Millenium Part 2

One of the rules I broke when I dated my ex was my minimum height requirement. After marrying into a family of men all vying to be the poster children for some Napoleonic Syndrome committee, I developed a 6’2″ height requirement that I pretty much stuck to. But, I was young and innocent and totally unaware of the “Male Ego Inch”.

That’s the inch that all men add to their own height. (YES…your man too!) I was unaware of the M.E.I. years ago and I don’t know why. It’s so undeniably common that I can’t believe that it took me so long to notice it. That’s probably because men even seem to have convinced themselves that the M.E.I. is real. But I’m telling you, if you measure the average guy, you’ll find that at the very least, 1 extra inch is added to the height on their driver’s license. (Ladies, whatever you do, don’t buy the “I must have shrunk!” line.)

I’m not terribly strict about the height requirements today but never again will I look down at some Italian dude’s head as he tells me that he 5’9″ when I’m 5’8″. I shouldn’t be able to see over a guy’s forehead, I sure as hell shouldn’t be able to see the beginnings of a bald spot.

Speaking of bald heads, I never really had any rules about bald dudes, they never bothered me one way or another. It’s not how much hair a guy’s lost that I’m interested in, it’s what he does with the hair that’s still there. So, I don’t mind if a guy is bald, but they can’t have soul patches, shoulder length hair and certainly no braids. Also, I’ve learned that if I notice a hat on a man, chances are 3 out of 4 that he’s bald under that hat, no matter how much hair he lets hang out.

By the way, bald men come with extra body hair and that’s OK and long as I can find someplace to breathe should I go on an escapade through the landscape. With some of those guys, they’re like a cat in the summer. You end up with hairs going up your nose often and I really, really hate it when that happens.

Also, a new rule is that I’m going to stay away from Type A personalities unless they’re OK with my Type B self. As long as I don’t have to the do things ON the list, I don’t mind if a guy has one. But the first time he tells me that I “need to make a list”, out the door he goes. This is non-negotiable.

It’s beginning to appear as though my new list might take some time to complete. I thought that I could finish it in 2 parts but I don’t think I can. I haven’t even gotten to guys who french with stiff tongues, disappointed men who thought that they could get more than one orgasm up on me and the importance of not sleeping with extremist Muslim’s.

Oh, and a few things that I learned from my most recent ex…I’ll call him Rick…don’t date men who routinely have to go to the ATM before a date to get out 25 bucks, don’t believe liars when they tell you ANYTHING, and if something smells, you probably shouldn’t kiss it.

OK, I have to go find a movie to watch. I feel like escaping reality for the evening.



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