Posted by: anniewilson | April 8, 2009

Screw your date, enjoy yourself!

OK…they don’t say that you have to “kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince” for nothing. But I seem to be in a lily pad jumping marathon here.

Most recently I learned that I should forgo the lunch date for something either fun or very nice. That way I wouldn’t mind primping for a couple of hours. But if someone wants to start off with a lunch date, they’re gonna get a chick dressed for lunch.

Yesterday I wondered, “If a guy asks you out at the last minute, are you still obliged to offer him a “first date” primp job? I hadn’t figured it out yet and I was getting sort of curious because I had another last minute date and I really hate primping. And…he DID sort of spring it on me…so I figured, “Screw him. He gets what he gets.”

I think that’s fair, don’t you? The guy wants a cheap date, he’s gonna get one. If he took me to Paris (Which, by the way, is specifically what I requested.), he would most likely get his own new dress. But, lunch on the Marietta Square is gonna get most guys a pair of old blue jeans and a sweater. Oh, I’m probably not going to go too far out there with my hair, either. I think for the time being, lunch dates will be getting braids.

I used to go all curling iron on a date but I give up. I’ve gotten more compliments from men who like braids than I ever did with curls. They also like cheap shoes and things with lots of colors. So, you should be a little creative on a lunch date…but I wouldn’t get out my Estee Lauder make-up for it.

It’s not like we’re going to Churchill Downs in May. Heck, for all I know, we could end up at McDonald’s Land. After all, guys call audibles too.

I hate to be on the receiving end of an audible, don’t you? You have to spend the rest of the date knowing that the other person doesn’t want to go on the big date you guys had discussed and most likely would rather be anywhere else but with you at that moment.

The last time that happened to me, I could pick up on it within 48 seconds. I’m very perceptive and that wasn’t tough to pick up on. Before I even saw the guy look at me, he had stopped looking at me. That was fun.

I tried very hard to make pleasant conversation, all the time knowing that if he had waited until I had time to primp and dress up nicely, he wouldn’t look so forlorn right then.

Looking back those awkward silences were rather amusing. They were the type of things that aren’t amusing when they happen but when you look back on it, it sort of makes you chortle.

I think that we women and men should have a built in, ready made way to overcome uncomfortable silences. We should take turns breaking them. I broke far too many that time…when I could have just as easily shut up and let him deal with being ill at ease. Actually, I think I’ll do that next time! I’ll just let the fool think about what a DREADFUL uncomfortable silence he is currently stuck in. And sooner or later I’ll just laugh out loud uncontrollably because that’s what I do.

I think the trick to enjoying uncomfortable silences is to know when you are wasting your time trying to be pleasant. Just in case you don’t know, here are a few signs that your date has “called an audible” on you:

1. Within two minutes of picking you up he says, “Today was an unusually BUSY and HECTIC day at work.” He’s setting up his escape and you’re still putting the seat belt on. Not a good sign.

2. He orders soup. You might just as well order soup too. You won’t have the time to finish a burger, much less fries.

3. He watches the game on the TV over by the bar…and it’s just a rerun of a Japanese baseball game.

4. He spends more time looking at the decor than he does looking at you. And then, to make matter worse, he actually begins to discuss the decor.

5. It occurs to you that you could flash the dude and he’d never notice.

Any one of those would do it but I got all of them on one hour long lunch date.

Yep, those are just a few of the signs that it’s time to become responsible for your own fun. I’m going to have a plan from now on. I pity the next guy who isn’t captivated by me!

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Responses

  1. so interesting hearing about life in the singles world, especially from a woman’s perspective. Please keep it up — thanks.

  2. Silence is not always bad, although I always fall back on some innocuous comment about celebrities as in: “I found it tough to get out of bed today when I heard Lindsay Lohan’s gal pal has taken out a restraining order out on her, how will Lindsay cope?”

    Flashing is always welcome!

    Once you get a sense that things will not progress past the first date then Katy bar the door! I once had a match.com first date tell me that her previous match.com date told her that he did not find her sexually attractive as in he had no desire to have sex with her. I jumped on it, said his loss, lets go!

    No luck, she sent me an email the next day stating that although we’d probably have fun together she did not feel any chemistry between us!

    go figure.

    P.S. I consider myself a big Queen fan also, saw them live back in the 70’s!

  3. “Scaramouche, scaramouche, can you do the fandango”…or whatever the hell they’re singing.

    EXCELLENT GROUP FOR SURE!


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