Posted by: anniewilson | May 31, 2009

One more trip to the hospital

I woke up…

…this morning wondering,

“What time is it?”

Ordinarily it’s dark outside when I wake up so I was confused when I saw that it was light out. I had been up for an hour before I remembered WHY I slept so long. I spent the night in the hospital.

Yesterday I noticed several faces around my couch and they were mostly speaking to me. I wasn’t quite trusting of the faces, as a matter of fact, they scared the hell out of me. I didn’t recognize ANY of them. They were asking simple enough questions but for some reason, I couldn’t answer any of them. So, I just stared at them. I don’t know why but I did.

Then a familiar face came into the mix. I couldn’t put a name to that face either. But they seemed to want to take me with them and I couldn’t really argue with them so I went.

By the time I got to the hospital, I knew why we were going, I’d just had a grand mal seizure while at the computer. I don’t remember anything from the seizure, nor do I remember what happened right before it started. Actually, yesterday is a bit of a fog.

While I was in the hospital, they gave me some IV sedation because I ran out of xanax and it was the weekend so I couldn’t get it filled until Monday. The doc (Dr. John Knox…a very, very kind and decent man, not to mention an excellent doc. I’ve seen him many times but as funkified as I looked, he didn’t recognize me.) said that you can get seizures if you suddenly stop taking xanax. I didn’t think it would do any harm over the weekend.

So, as I finally remembered this morning, yesterday wasn’t a great day for me. I remember being wobbly on my feet which was probably from the meds he gave me. He put some ativan in an IV to get it into my bloodstream as quickly as possible. Then, he gave me another presciption for xanax.

And then, I must have gone to bed because when I woke up this afternoon, I couldn’t believe how late it was. There’s only one problem…I don’t know what I did with those prescriptions the doctor gave me. I’m sure they’re around here somewhere.

I’m afraid of my brain.



  1. Gee annie why even take the xanax if that’s what it does?

  2. That’s what happens when I DON’T take it! I’ve been taking it for 20 years and I’ve never had a problem. Every so often I go without it just for the heck of it and I won’t be doing that anymore.

    Going without it is pretty bad too.


  3. Sorry, I read the “don’t” part. I just don’t understand. My Mom used to take it (don’t know what for?). It’s just that wouldn’t valium be a whole lot healthier? isn’t it for nerves? Apologies for my ignorance

  4. Don’t apologize, you’re just fine. I did take valium before xanax came out. They used to give valium which is a skeletal muscle relaxant but xanax is an anti-anxiety drug specifically so that’s what they give nowadays. It was all my fault because I had no business going without it. I won’t do that again. I thought that if I was “hooked” on it, I would know but I don’t mind not taking it. So…now I just have to take it instead of going without when I run out. I don’t know which is worse, taking it or not taking it!


  5. Well sweety I wish I could get a doc to give me valium. If I remember right I didn’t have any anxiety after taking one or two. haha Sure could use less anxiety now-a-days They say they won’t give it to me because it’s addictive but there are worse things to be addicted to 😉

  6. Yes there are, first of all, like my heart medicine. I take that every day and I will forever. That crap isn’t made for drug addicts, it’s made for people with anxiety disease. Ooh, that makes me mad…if you knew how I felt when I didn’t take the xanax or my heart medicine, you would know why I WON’T usually go without the stuff.

    If you take drugs the way they’re ordered and don’t self medicate, you won’t get addicted…period.

    If I feel like I need 4 a day for a while instead of 3, I call the doctors office and tell them. I always get their permission and as long as I’m not unreasonable, neither is my doctor. He has bent over backwards to accomodate my skinny, nervous, old lady self.


  7. LOL Like my Grandma used to say….Well bless your heart.

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