Posted by: anniewilson | June 15, 2009

I can be such an IDIOT!

Hi ya’ll!!!

I spent the weekend lying on my couch, trying to get the swelling in my knee to go down. Part of the time I was listening to the TV but most of the time I was thinking about my latest flame. I was thinking how nice he was and how much I enjoy kissing him. Then I was trying to remember the last time I felt like this about a guy and I realized it has been a long, long time. I was thinking about how I never expected to feel like this again in my life and how it was such a nice surprise. Then I realized what a jack ass I am.

What kind of moron expects a guy to allow this type of happiness to go on for any length of time? DUH! It isn’t allowed and I, of all people, should know that.

When I worked at a drug and alcohol treatment center, I learned about something called “stinking thinking”. That’s what drunks are guilty of. They keep on repeating the same behavior over and over again expecting something different to happen. But, like a drunk ends up in jail after a drinking binge, I end up hurt after a “guy” binge. I should know better and now I feel like I deserve 40 lashes with a wet noodle. If I had the energy to boil a noodle, I would…but I don’t.

Can you believe that I almost fell for that crap? He really is a nice guy and he really is as sexy as hell but I can’t assume that a nice and sexy guy will stick around. It’d be different if he were in a wheelchair, it’s harder to roll away than it is to walk away. But, alas, he’s a strapping, healthy man and he could probably outrun me if I started chasing him.

I don’t know which is more shocking…that I still CAN feel like this about someone or that I’m insane enough to go ahead and DO it. Thank GOD I came to my senses. This could have been bad.

Oh well, it’s nice to know that I can still feel like that. Not that is does me any good, why the hell would I want to roll those particular dice?

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Responses

  1. I’m kind of choking on this one Annie. Everyone deserves someone.
    Someone to take care of them and to take care of as we grow older.
    It took me 23 yrs to find someone who could live with me. However it’s not all heaven.
    And soon I will test the waters to see if after 5 yrs together he will choose a “life style”
    over being with me.
    I would say that we are happily married but it seems as though I can’t give enough.
    In this I seem to be losing a part of me.
    Or is it supposed to be this way?
    Maybe I need prozac…………………………..

  2. Well honey…you asked the wrong person. I don’t get it and I doubt that I ever will. This one is such a perfect guy for me but I’ve thought that before. I give.

    😦

  3. sounds to me like you’re making progress (and don’t discount those wheelchair guys — they can give you a fun ride)

  4. Hey, I just said that I could catch up with one of them. Bring the wheelchair dudes on!

    πŸ™‚

  5. At the age of 38 I got divorced; yes it is great that you can still feel like a teenager again. Kinda a good news bad news, bad news is you’ll be dating again, good news is, you’ll be going through the blind lust stage again!

    Drop the defeatist attitude, stinks of low self-esteem. You deserve this man, trust him and life will be good!

  6. You know what? Fuck him. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna take a chance. I’ll keep on playing with him but I’ll be on guard until he makes a huge move my way. Call me kookie!

    But, he’s welcome to come over!

    πŸ™‚

  7. Damn…I might feel totally different the next time he kisses me. Crap…that was lust.

  8. Your the best. Let him know it.
    Thanks for the un-advice. It’s the best kind:-)


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