Posted by: anniewilson | June 20, 2009

What on Earth is this salty substance?

Well, this has been an interesting week. I had my first argument with a guy since my divorce and I actually cried over it! I hadn’t thought about it…but I haven’t cried in years. I know that because if I had remembered what crying did to my face, I never would have done it. My eyes were all swollen and puffy for a day and a half and I was miserable and nervous feeling. I don’t know what that’s all about.

Ordinarily, if a guy annoyed me I would have laughed in his face and skipped away. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me that I actually bothered arguing with Hippie Dude but I sure as hell did…for an entire day! I don’t understand this one little bit.

Hippie Dude got mad at me for something that I perceived as stupid but it was obviously important to him. We argued back and forth over email while he was at work. I couldn’t count the times that I read one of his emails and thought to myself, “FUCK THIS!” But each time, I would eventually rejoin the argument and at one point a salty substance began to come out of my eyes.

My head was telling me to block his emails and go on to another activity but something inside of me wouldn’t let me do that. As I said, I haven’t bothered bickering with anyone since my idiot husband left. I can’t imagine why I bothered…I didn’t understand it then and I sure as hell don’t understand it now. Eventually we stopped arguing and he came over the next day with a couple of Philly Cheese Steaks. We had a nice evening watching TV and when he left, he said that we should get together Saturday night…which we will be doing this evening.

Then, I sat around wondering why on earth I would bother seeing a guy who made me cry. But, I totally was over the argument so now I’m just looking forward to seeing him tonight. Someone needs to explain this to me because I’m totally baffled as to why I would not only allow someone to make me cry…but then look forward to seeing him again.

Over the past 5 years, I’ve had men get annoyed with me and I’ve gotten annoyed with them but that was only an excuse to get the heck out of Dodge and find another man who hadn’t yet irritated me. As I said, this one was angry over something that I thought was stupid but after the entire thing was over with, I actually apologized! It’s all very vexing.

I have no clue what’s going on in my head but to look forward to seeing a man who annoyed me is relatively new to me. As I said, when a man gets mad at me for something that I think is stupid, I usually take that as a reason to find another one. But, I couldn’t help myself, I just kept on trying to fix the situation. Then, at one point I figured out that if he was going to bother hanging around long enough to keep fighting, I should probably do the same. That goes against every single instinct to run that I usually have.

And the salty crap coming out of my eyes! What on earth was that all about? I’ve gone for YEARS without crying like that. Why would I release that shit from my eyes over a guy that I’ve only know for a short time? I SO don’t get it.

It blew me away that anyone would even get annoyed with a person that they’ve only know for a short time. I was so baffled that I wanted to laugh and tell him that he should sit and spin but I couldn’t do it. I was actually concerned that his feelings had been hurt even though I didn’t really understand why. I spent a day and a half bickering with him over something that I thought was stupid and then, when he came over the next day with those cheese steaks, I was just happy to see him and I actually cuddled with the same person who had caused the salty crap to flow down my face just the day before.

This is SO not me. I must analyse this a bit more and I think I need your help. What would cause this exasperating situation? Why would a person go back for more? What’s going on here? I spent a day sick to my stomach and out of control of the situation (which I despise) and then, instead of saying, “Next!”…I looked forward to seeing him again.

I’m quite confused…why would an adult woman allow this to happen?


  1. I am thinking Thyrodism, Hipo-, I would take a look at it. Which is under production of Hormones, T3 and T4. The thyrod produces some T3 and a lot of T4. T4 connects to the blood and is converted to T3 which is needed by the body for its proper functioning. Most doctors test for T3 & 4 which most offten shows up as good and healthy. “Looks & sounds good” untill you find out that the test is fualty! The real test needs to be to find out if the T3 and more importenly “T4” needs to be to find out if the T4 has blockers serounding it so it will not be obsorub into the blood cell and converted to T3. Sorce Dr. Steven Hotze. Check his web site

  2. I would also do some reading of the works of John Gray, Ph.D. and his Mars and Vinus on a Date, you may find some answers there or ideas which will help you out. This is the guy who wrote the Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, and some others all on relationships. Best wishes, JM

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