Posted by: anniewilson | July 10, 2009

Marietta Police…at it again

Some people claim that Cobb county was named for Thomis Willis Cobb who was a Congressman and a Senator from Georgia. And…it is fact that the city of Marietta was named for his wife, Mary Moore Cobb. But, according to long time Georgian, retired law professor and functioning alcoholic Patrick Toomey, “Marietta hasn’t always been like this, they used to care about women.” Since the citiy’s fathers named the city FOR a woman, one would think that it might become customary for police to go out of their way to protect women. According to Toomey, it was that way a long, long, long time ago. But today when people wonder about the county’s moniker, they think of the phrase Count On Being Busted. Especially once the local cops get a hard on for you.

I still haven’t forgotten the assault after which I notified the Marietta Police Department that I had been drugged and beaten and yet the best they could charge the nimrod with was domestic violence and THAT only after I was threatened with arrest by the first officer with whom I spoke. Once again, because I AM a woman. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have done that to a man who had been beaten by HIS friends. I’m not sure what the charge WOULD be…but unless Elton John and Doogie Houser took part in a serious rumble…I really don’t think the cops would have used that limp excuse to arrest, fingerprint and mug shoot anyone.

Since it’s becoming a daily occurrence for a cop to stare into my front window or bang that special cop bang on my door, I’m figuring this crap out. Add to that the 3 cops with whom I tried to speak regarding the assault and I’ve picked up on a few things that my local protectors and servers do routinely…sort of their modus operandi if you will. Now, you MAY think that you wouldn’t ever require this information but trust me, I thought the very same thing for close to 50 years. So, just in case, here are a few tricks of the trade that cops seem to use. Perhaps they’re only practiced by local cops here in my neck of the woods. But I have an inkling that the problem is more widespread although I DO have fond memories of Officer Friendly visiting my classes as I was growing up. And, I’ve lived in 6 states.

1. They lie. I don’t know how else to state that, I’m trying to be very economical with my verbiage.

2. They take people to jail without a shower, a bite to eat or a last smoke so if they come to your house, try your best to do all of those things before you open the door.

3. They lie.

4. They seem to believe the first story they hear so try to speak to them FIRST. I never do because I’m usually at home minding my own business when they decide to get together and head on over.

5. They lie.

6. They surround your house before they ever knock so don’t answer the door they knock on, answer whichever door is farthest away from where you’ve been doing bong hits…I promise…there will be a cop waiting to greet you.

7. They lie.

8. They stare into your windows with cupped hands over their eyes. Try to be clothed whenever possible and go buy a shitload of mini-blinds.

9. They lie. How ODD.

10. For some strange reason, the only time they WON’T come into your house is when you ask them to.

For most of my life, I’ve spent no more time with the police than it takes to fill out a speeding ticket or purchase a donut. But, I’m catching on. If I were the cops, I wouldn’t behave so predictably. And I’d probably do away with the instinctive urge to defend other cops instead of chatting with a crime victim or getting the name of a witness. The constant excuse-making gets boorish after a while.

Oh…I forgot to list this one…they WILL, at some point ask you, “What do YOU want us to do?” or “How do YOU want us to handle this?” so get ready to answer that stupid question quickly. If you aren’t a cop, you’ll probably stutter when asked and that gives the PROFESSIONALS time to get away without doing ANYTHING. Smart…isn’t it? They get out of paperwork AND make you feel like an ass.

I know that I’m smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt and I realize that I’m in the most conservative county in the entire United States…but I’m white! What the heck is going on here?

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