Posted by: anniewilson | October 8, 2009

Homeless at Venice Beach

I’m waiting for my daughter to wake up and then I’m going to drag her butt to Venice Beach. I want to see what it takes to rent a booth at the beach to sell stuff from. Then, if it’s a price I can handle, I’ll think up something to sell.

Wouldn’t that be a great job? I could just sit on the beach with Payton and sell stuff. I’ve thought up a few things that I could sell but I’d have to make it all before the weekend. Do you guys have any ideas?

I’ve been making pot holders with one of those little red looms but those aren’t really beach selling stuff. Besides, it takes a long time to make one of those suckers and I wouldn’t be able to make enough to get rich off of them by Saturday.

Of course I could go to The Price is Right and see if I can win “A NEW CAR!”. The last time my daughter and I went, I noticed that the lady who won the big prize at the end was acting like an idiot while we were all in line before the show. Now that I know the secret, I could go and get chosen simply by acting like a fool. I think I can do that easily enough. I’ve been known to behave in strange ways in the past…it shouldn’t be too tough to repeat that now.

My daughter’s apartment comes with the gas and water paid for so all she has to pay is electricity. This morning when I woke up, there was a bit of a chill in here so I turned on the oven and opened the door. It didn’t take long to get the chill out of the air so I turned it off right away but it occurred to me that if it were really, really cold, you could turn the oven on and heat the place with the gas. Then you wouldn’t have to use your electricity to get warm. Of course, the chance of killing yourself with a gas leak or an explosion would increase…but at least you wouldn’t have to pay for it.

Between the free heat and the beach sales position, it should be pretty easy to pay my way here in SoCal. If I can’t, I don’t think it would be as bad as it would be if I couldn’t pay my way in Atlanta. Atlanta gets pretty chilly and it’s not very pretty. California is a beautiful place to go broke.

Judging from all of the homeless people, I’d say that, if you must go broke, you should really come to LA and be broke. The homeless people here don’t seem to have it so bad. Yesterday I saw a homeless person with a dog. If you can keep your dog and be homeless…it can’t be all bad.

The other day I saw a homeless dude (what we used to call a bum) walking down the street in a tie. The tie was just as filthy and mismatched as the rest of his clothes…but he WAS wearing a tie. I figured he was going to a special homeless person meeting. Perhaps they were planning a trip to the beach. If I were going to be homeless, I’d do it at the beach.

I don’t know if a career in homelessness can go any further than the Southern California homeless community. This is a mighty fine place to be without a home. You have the regular benefits that go along with being homeless such as:

1. No sweeping.
2. No Jehovah’s Witnesses.
3. The city does your yard work.
4. People never peek in your medicine cabinet.
5. Immediate and stable employment as Official Bottle Picker Upper.
6. One less person to purchase “The Clapper”.
7. You can really enjoy Halloween.
8. Unlimited travel potential.
9. Very little agoraphobia in the homeless population.
10. Challenging atmosphere.

Of course homeless people are also the ultimate “green” people. Other than the Styrofoam plates that they eat off of, they have very little impact on the environment. And you can’t even blame the homeless for the Styrofoam…the soup kitchens buy that stuff. If you think about it, the homeless are actually GOOD for the environment. Not only do they use very little in the way of shampoo containers, baggies and anti-bacterial dishwashing liquid…they also pick up MORE than their own fair share of plastic bottles.

Yep..the homeless are HUGE in the area of recycling and they get very little recognition for that. You should thank a homeless person for their work in the area of environmental conservation.

With all of the homeless people here in SoCal, you would think that sooner or later I would see a new addition who still has SOME clean clothes on. I guess you aren’t technically homeless if you don’t look the part. A person in nice clothes is really just lost…not quite homeless. And you don’t see too many people who are halfway homeless either. I’ve never seen one of them with just one too many stains on their shirt, mismatched socks and bed head. I guess when someone gets to that point, they must just go ahead and get all dirty at once. Maybe that’s why the guy I saw yesterday was just crashed out on the corner at the curb…it was his first night and he wanted to get into character.

I’m sure that they’ll have a lot of homeless at the beach in Venice…they always do. The last time I was here we went out there and I saw the luckiest homeless people on the planet. One guy was sleeping in the middle of a grove of 4 palm trees. I’m pretty sure that he was the King.

Gotta run…see ya later!



  1. fun!
    And you did it without belittling being homeless, just the opposite…

    If you wind up monologuing on TV, I’ll say I knew you when.

  2. Thank you! I love it when someone takes the time to tell me they enjoy what I’ve written. It keeps me coming back.

    You can say you knew me when even if I gert no more fame than this little blog garners for me!


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