Posted by: anniewilson | October 13, 2009

Hi there, it’s ME!

Apparently, with someone to talk to, a person doesn’t blog as much as they should so I’m going to have to wake up earlier from now on so that I can chat with you guys and watch Fox and Friends. I’ve always been an early riser but even I can’t seem to get up early enough to catch Fox’s “morning” show. It’s a middle of the night show on the west coast. But, getting up before my daughter wakes up is no problem at all. My mother’s amazing propensity to sleep for most of the day seems to have jumped a generation and has landed squarely on my kid’s sleepy self. Thank God she doesn’t snore, I’d have to go back to Georgia.

Anyway, I have another secret and although I can keep someone else’s secret forever, I suck at keeping my own. But, I have a superstition that dictates that I must keep things to myself lest I jinx the possibility of good stuff happening. Obviously this is a good secret, I wouldn’t bother giving you notice of a bad secret.

I’ll tell you this much…it has to do with a television show. This time I’m going to drag my daughter into my hijinks so I’m really looking forward to it. We have a meeting with the producers tomorrow but I doubt that we’ll get an answers then. If we do, I’ll tell you then. Otherwise, I’ll tell you later.

Annie and I went to Hollywood Blvd. on Sunday and handed out cookies that we made ourselves. I had a bag that said, “Free Cookies” and Annie had one that said, “My mother is making me do this.” It was fun when people took our cookies but many people didn’t even answer me when I offered them a cookie. I shouted derogatory comments at those people and I smiled sweetly at the tourists who wanted to take our picture. That was certainly a new experience.

If I haven’t raised my daughter to be an annoying young woman yet, I get to try some more. I’m pleased with that. I can’t go on annoying people forever…I need to leave another annoying woman behind when I go.

Today I think I’ll be cleaning up the apartment. It’s quite small and somehow we seem to make a mess rather quickly. It seems as though I clean up, watch a movie and then it’s time to clean up again. I took yesterday off, today the place is already a mess.

You know, cleaning up after your kid isn’t so bad when you get older. I think it’s because you get to feel more like a mother than you do by calling incessantly and worrying from afar. I don’t remember the last time I had a creature with 2 legs to care for…I actually like it. Perhaps I should find a local Brady Bunch and become their Alice. I’d be a good Alice but I wouldn’t put up with Sam the butcher for any length of time without a proposal.

In the meantime, my daughter will do. No matter how old she gets, I still think of her as a little girl. And she LOOKS like a little girl which is tough to do at 30. I was working in a nursing home once and I walked past a group of old ladies in wheelchairs who seemed to be having a coffee clatch at the end of the hall. One of them asked me if I would call her daughter for her. It seems that the daughter had been by to visit that day and had left over an hour before. She hadn’t phoned her mother to tell her that she made it home safely so the mother was, understandably, worried about her. I told her that I understood and I asked her how old her daughter was. That sweet woman looked me straight in the eye and said, “Sixty-eight.”

That’s when it hit me. You don’t EVER stop worrying about your kids…ever, ever, ever. If my son was a huge success in life and became President of the United States, the most powerful man on the planet, I would worry that some nut with a middle name would assassinate him. Ain’t that a bitch?

You wait for the suckers to “grow up” and when they do, you’ve grown older and if there’s one thing that I’ve learned about being old it’s that OLD PEOPLE WORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING. Add to that the fact that mothers worry too and when you have an old mother, you need to MAKE HER take Xanax. I always wondered why I started needing tranquilizers when I was in my twenties and I can’t believe it took me this long to figure it out…I became the mother of 3 kids back then too.

I even worry about the son who has sided with my ex husband in his unilateral war on me after 2 decades of divorce and refuses to speak to me. That’s OK…I finally figured out the higher purpose that the “war” serves…if it weren’t for their mutual contempt of me, they would have nothing to keep their marriage together.

OK…that kid has slept enough…I’m waking her ass up now.

See ya!

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