Posted by: anniewilson | November 5, 2009

Rachel Griffiths is a skinny little idiot

I lived in California before but that time I was in Petaluma, a bit north of Frisco. I occasionally saw celebrities, on and off of movie sets. Now I actually live IN Hollywood so I seem to see quite a few…so many so that I’ve even been surprised at how many I’ve seen. I stopped mentioning them after about 4 because it was becoming rather boring and to tell you the truth, I wouldn’t have known who most of them were if someone hadn’t told me.

Saturday night I was at a place called Busby’s shooting a few games of pool and minding my own business when the bartender asked the guy who was playing pool at the other table why he looked so familiar. The guy said that he was on Madmen, a show I’ve never seen. I didn’t have a clue who the guy was and I didn’t know his name so it wasn’t really worth mentioning.

What I should have mentioned about Saturday night was that I had a beer and 3 sips of a Bacardi and Coke after taking a pain pill Saturday afternoon. I did all of that without eating so I sort of deserved what happened on the way home. Unfortunately, others who DIDN’T deserve it paid for my stupidity.

After a few sips of my drink, I started to feel a bit queasy so instead of waiting for my daughter to pick me up, I started walking home. After walking for about a mile, I decided to hop on a bus for the last mile down La Brea. I don’t know if it was all the people dressed in costume that tightly packed the bus, the movement of the stupid thing or the fact that I never did eat, but I quickly turned green and felt an impending and unstoppable need to puke.

Luckily for me, the bus was approaching my stop so I pulled the string to signal a desire to get off of the bus. I was actually relieved for a moment because, despite my best efforts, I was about to blow chunks and I hoped to be able to do so at the intersection of La Brea and Melrose and NOT on the bus. I won’t tell you how far I went to avoid heaving all over the bus, but trust me…my efforts were valiant.

They were all for naught. Before the bus came to a stop, I barfed on the arm of the guy sitting to my right. Then, without missing a beat, I got the leg of the guy on my left. That’s when the bus stopped and I bolted without apology. All I wanted to do was get off of the bus before it happened again. I’m not blaming any of that on the Madmen dude, but it was quite a coincidence that I lost my beer shortly after seeing him.

Although I felt badly about leaving the contents of my stomach in the lap of some dude dressed up as a vampire…I planned to find a way to spin my short bus ride into a humorous story and I did so for most of Sunday. But I DID feel for the 2 guys who caught the wrath of my gastro-intestinal upheaval. I even tweeted an apology on Twitter on the off chance that the barfed upon guys were cleaned up and reading my tweets but I forgot to tell you guys about it until right now.

Then, yesterday my daughter and I stopped at a gas station in Camarillo. I was sitting in the car as my kid went in the store for dog food and although I noticed the chick in front of me stick the pump into the gas tank of her Suburban, I certainly didn’t know who the anorexic wench was so I paid no attention to her.

When my kid got back in the car, she told me that the woman in the Suburban was Rachel Griffiths, an actor on a show called Six Feet Under. I’ve never seen that show so even when my daughter told me who she was, I didn’t know her. And I couldn’t see her because she was sitting in the Suburban as the gas pump was hanging out of the left side of it all by itself.

Apparently, my daughter was a fan so when she made eye contact with the skinny chick, she smiled at her. By that time she was also pumping gas and not likely to run away from her own car to mob Griffiths. Also, it was the middle of the day and the gas station was full of men so I can’t imagine anyone feeling threatened, certainly not by the smile of a young woman.

Now, I know my kid. She isn’t a nut and she has seen her share of celebrities around town and as a planner of the Golden Globe awards. Star spotting has become very commonplace to her and if she wasn’t a fan of Six Feet Under, she probably would have walked away without smiling.

But as soon as she DID smile, the middle-aged quasi-celebrity jumped into her vehicle as though Jack the Raper had just shouted “You’re next!” at her. So even if I wanted to see her, I couldn’t unless I was nutty enough to wait for her to get back out of her gas guzzling truck/car and I’m not THAT nutty at all.

I’ve long ago lost count of the famous people whom I have met as well as those with whom I’ve worked. I can safely say that, with the possible exceptions of Bill Murray and Sally Fields, every single star who I’ve met has been as pleasant as a normal person would be.

It doesn’t surprise me that a nobody would hide from “prying eyes” because it seems as though the sweetest stars I’ve encountered have been the most celebrated. For example, Bob Hope, Charlton Heston and Harrison Ford were all more than gracious when I met them. I met Ford at a party but Heston and Hope could have easily avoided me. They didn’t. Instead they behaved liked regular human beings.

Those 3 men were stars that most people on this planet would know. If they were pumping gas along with 10 other people, at least 9 would have recognized them. But Rachel Griffiths would need quite a few more gas pumps full of people before anyone would pick up on her identity. She should be pleased that ANYONE knows who she is yet rather than return a smile from a fan and continue pumping her gas…she chose to go to all the trouble to jump back in her ride with the gas pump hanging out of the side of it.

I didn’t think about it until I was back on the freeway but if I see her again, I’m sticking my finger down my throat and blowing chunks all over her Suburban, her left arm or her right leg.



  1. She’s obviously a piece of human garbage.

  2. She’s a piece of something all right!


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