Posted by: anniewilson | November 28, 2009

He ain’t gay…he’s my son

My youngest son graduated from law school this past spring. He passed his bar exam and is, for all intents and purposes, a real attorney today. Am I proud? Yeah, sure. But as I stood in the rear of his graduation ceremony and watched my son except his diploma from Mercer Law, I noticed a BUNCH of others doing the exact same thing. And that’s only one law school…from one year! Kudos to the kid who stuck it out but when it comes to earning maternal pride, one must do something different, make his own way in the world and do it with style, panache and charisma. Anyone can walk across a stage and grab a diploma…with the possible exception of that Hawkins dude.

But, as I always knew he would…my oldest son has made his mother proud in a way no other son before him has done. I can’t say that he’s been making me laugh since the day he was born, a 4th degree episiotomy prevented any jocularity for the first week of his life. But shortly after that, he began cracking me up, leaving me walking away, wondering if I had heard right, and learning lessons from a person not yet 3 feet tall. (NOW, of course, he is OVER over 3 feet tall.)

One particularly frustrating afternoon in 1980, I told him to, “Pick up that truck, damn it!” He responded in a manner far too old for his 3 years….”MY NAME’S NOT DAMN IT!” Of course he was right, right after I met him in the delivery room I bestowed upon my newborn son the aristocratic name of William. And, as you will see, he has lived up to that moniker…and then some.

Concerned about the barefoot children in front of him at the local grocers, a four year old William asked me, “Why don’t they have any shoes, Mommy?”

I resisted my natural instinct to answer, “DUH! They’re hillbillies, dude!” Instead I chose the high road and explained that, “Perhaps they don’t have the money to buy shoes, son.”

Shortly after that, as I was tucking my young prodigy into bed one night, I noticed that my red neck neighbors were letting their 2 year old walk around the front yard in the dark. I commented, more to myself than my son, “I can’t believe they haven’t put that baby to bed yet!”

Well, the young William put me in my place again, this time with the observation that, “Maybe they don’t have the money to buy any beds, Mom.” From the mouths of babes.

Over the years my son has given me the regular joys of motherhood, of course. But he has also given me 3 of the greatest gifts of all, that mother’s smile you have as you walk away shaking your head after your child has told a joke that ends with a fart, the pride a mother feels when she realizes that her child has chosen the road less traveled (let’s face it, that takes a LOT of nerve!), and the gift of outright laughter.

Today my son has topped himself. He has managed to give me all 3 gifts at once. So, without further poo…this is William…MY SON…the one with the great big stiff…middle finger:

Solaris Gal…this one’s for you!
Connie, aren’t you proud of your Godson?
Dad…you know, I can’t add a thing here.
Marie…nyuck nyuck
Gay Dudes…sorry, I know it doesn’t look like it, but he’s straight.

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