Posted by: anniewilson | December 5, 2009

Life can be something…’ey?

That “‘ey” is in honor of my Minnesota boyfriend. He doesn’t say it much, but Minnesota just reminds me of that “word”. I heard it a lot when I lived in upstate New York…way upstate…like 30 miles from Canada upstate.

Anyway, I wrote about Minnesota Dude in this post:

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2009/12/i-was-chatting-with.html

The gist of it was that he “doesn’t say I love you because of how women change after you do say it”. Whatever…it didn’t bug me too much at first but the more I chewed on that particular piece of fat, the more it stuck in my craw.

When you stew on something like that long enough, the heavier stuff starts to stick to the bottom and then it burns just enough to ruin the whole stew. That’s a bitch for all concerned. It wasn’t as if I brought the subject up in the first place…apparently MN. Dude misunderstood something I said and the he just went off on that pleasant little topic and announced his premature edict.

Afterwards, I was climbing BACK up THAT emotional cliff all week and I had just about gotten back to the summit from which I jumped in the first place. The way I was headed, the weekend would have been spent pondering 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.

Then, out of the blue, I get a phone call from the man who’s figured it all out and has a plan…Never I say ‘I love you!’.

Reeling from my most recent sprint back up to the precipice of loveless reality, I wasn’t ready for the phone call that I got at about 10 tonight. It was MN. Dude. I wondered if the tone of my voice gave away the thoughts that I was having…and second thoughts at that, the type that are tougher to hide…or at least it seems so.

And then as we were chatting, out of nowhere, I get the “I love you.”

I was quite taken aback, to say the least. I had no response because even though I could think of a myriad of things to say at that moment…not one of them was phone chat. Think about it, any reply at all, from a snappy comeback to a thoughtful acquiescence, would really be better given in person.

I might be able to get away with a long distance snappy comeback but it’s tough enough to know when I’m serious in person…I’d hate to take any chances over the phone.

The other day my ex Rick called to see how I was doing and he STILL maintains that he can’t tell when I’m kidding. I reminded him of how easy it was…if what I’m mad at is stupid, I’m kidding. If the issue has some gravity and it would make sense to be angry, then I’m not kidding. He STILL doesn’t get that one. Oh well, maybe someday he will.

So, a guy said he loved me tonight and I’m just jaded enough to wonder what he’s up to. I haven’t figured this one out at all, not a ‘taaaalllll! as Sheriff Taylor would say.

I can name two men who I know that I can say with almost 100% certainty have never cheated. I can say WITH 100% certainty that every single one of my husbands and a few of my boyfriends HAVE cheated on me. And then, to make matters worse, a great guy like Tiger Woods turns out not to be so great after all. It’s like some sort of omen going on here!

But I’m gonna really try hard not to make MN. Dude pay for the mistakes made by other men. And WHATEVER I feel tonight, alone here in my apartment…I’m quite sure that, good or bad, I’ll feel quite a bit different when I’m with MN. Dude…after all, I happen to LIKE back hair!

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