Posted by: anniewilson | January 6, 2010

Me and my big fat mouth

My father used to say…

…that there was a loose connection in the filter between my brain and my mouth. He may be right…and then again…it could just be me, after all, I’m fine with it. Well, most of the time I am.

Every so often my mouth receives a foot larger than my own because when I say something that embarrasses ME…it takes a big foot to shut me up. Once I offered to help an OBVIOUSLY pregnant woman with her purchases. As I told her, “You shouldn’t be carrying so much in your condition. You look like you’re ready to pop right now!”

Three little words and I turned tail and went into the nearest stockroom…”I’m not pregnant.”

I assure you, you would have thought she was ready to pop too. She didn’t just have a huge beer belly, that was a belly you only see on women headed to the delivery room. I still don’t know what the heck that was all about.

Once while volunteering at a children’s hospital, I asked a nurse how a mother could let a child get so ill before bringing her in to the hospital. I don’t remember what made me think she was a nurse, but she wasn’t. She was the baby’s mother. I still want to apologize to that woman but after 25 years, I doubt I could track her down.

Well, the other night I did it again. I went to the rainbow Room in LA and as we were being seated, I told the hostess, “I see Ron Jeremy here all the time and he always hits on me, don’t put me near him again!” Then, I laughed to show the lighthearted nature of my little wisecrack. Ordinarily, other people would be snickering along with me but since they all knew something that I didn’t know…they remained reticent.

They could see that Ron Jeremy was behind me. He certainly wasn’t laughing.

Whatever…I’ve annoyed bigger people with less annoying behavior.

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