Posted by: anniewilson | February 8, 2010

My ex is why women should never drink and date

If the uncontemplated life is not worth living…

…can we take out those who are too stupid to contemplate even their own navels? If he doesn’t think…can I make him cease to be? If the only thing we can be sure of is doubt…then of this I am sure…I doubt my ex husbands will ever disappear from my daily routine.

Before mentioning recent actions by one of my idiot ex’s…I considered the fact that I might look bitter years after the divorce. Unfortunately, divorce doesn’t occur in a vacuum. See, this is why I’d rather be widowed. When a husband dies, he pretty much stays dead. When he screws other women and you divorce him, he can continue to pop up…and I might add…quite unexpectedly.

I NEVER in a MILLION years would have thought that my ex would be communicating with my family members. I don’t fault the family members…I didn’t divorce them. I divorced the sonofabitch that I was married to…oh so many years ago. He can’t seem to honor my divorce any better than he honored my marriage.

I don’t have many ex’s…but other than the father of my children, there’s no room in my life for the castoffs. I have a reasonable and self disciplined man to spend my time with and the more time that I DO spend with him, the worse my ex looks. None of his actions that lead to our divorce appear any less cowardly with the passage of time. Rather, I see him for what he is, what he was and what he shall remain…a yellow coward who offers nothing to anyone unless doing so serves himself. He looks all the more disgusting in retrospect and I’m nowhere near as bitter as I am really, really mad at myself for drinking until that pig started to look good.

The past doesn’t usually take up much of my time, I’m ordinarily more of an “in the moment” chick. But at any given moment, I’m unprepared to hear ANYTHING from my past or the cretins who populate it. But, some part of DIVORCE is mystifying to one of them…the part that implies FUCK OFF! I’m usually happy from one day to the next and I don’t want any reminders from my hideous judgement to pop up when I least expect it. That doesn’t make me bitter…it just means that I have CHOSEN not to forgive his lying ass and the fact that he has a serious problem with simple concepts like fidelity in marriage or fucking off in divorce.

I could do it, but I don’t want to. We don’t have to forgive every single person who wrongs us…no one expects us to forgive Nazi’s and the person who stole more of my life than prison will take from OJ Simpson is simply not forgivable. It is what it is…the evil of my life and as such I won’t “let it go”. I’ll walk away, happily. That’s good enough for me, I can’t do anything else. I just wish it were good enough for those from whom I seek to escape.

If this particular animal shows his usual stripes, the recent intrusions into my life are indications of his dissatisfaction with his own life and with himself. I must admit that I find that somewhat gratifying. I would have preferred the divorce to be over when I signed the actual divorce papers…but this is good too.

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